KEEPING IT ON THE RAIL III.(know when to act)

Sometimes, when someone tells you a problem, you try to solve it obviously . But a “solution” might not really always be what they are after at that time. Some problems of course do require actions, like if she is stuck in traffic and there are things she would love to be taken care of, and you are in a position to help. At that point even though moral support would be fine,what she really needs is your physical support. But when she comes home angry,having fallen out with someone at work, they may not necessary want advice,neither do they want you to call the colleague to give them a piece of your mind… they can stand up for themselves.. But little comments like “no wonder you are upset, I would have been furious too” confirms the right to feel as they do and assures  them that they are not over reacting.

So how do you know when  to act and when to listen? Well it starts by listening…if she is telling you she is stuck in traffic, possibility is she wants you to do something. If  she was in  a fight, she will throw hints if she wants your advice or if she is just letting off steam. Let me also say, try to listen  to what they are not saying. Its a known fact that people always don’t say what they mean.

So our partners are certainly not perfect, so are we. Maybe a bit more tolerance and less nagging is all that is needed. You want your partner to hold their head high when ever they are out with you,feel proud of you….you have to be kind,compassionate,truthful and honest. In dealing with people you need to act in such a way that you need no justification. Your partner should not be expected to cover for you,apologize for you or make excuses for you. No one wants to associate with someone thoughtless, rude and unkind.
One of the essentials of a strong relationship is to put each other first. In other to do this, you have to really listen to each other. You can’t be really happy if your partner is not. You have to be unselfish. And this is not a woman-thing or a Man-thing, both of you have to be unselfish. If you treat your partner well,they will be doing the same thing. That’s why it works, because the other person is taking care of your priorities.
If you can say something nice, say it, we all need reassurance and encouragement. We are humans and that’s how we work. If they love you-it means more to them to hear your approval than  anyone else’s.

So how do you know when  to act and when to listen? Well it starts by listening…if she is telling you she is stuck in traffic, possibility is she wants you to do something. If  she was in  a fight, she will throw hints if she wants your advice or if she is just letting off steam. Let me also say, try to listen  to what they are not saying. Its a known fact that people always don’t say what they mean.. 

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