The desire for a romantic love is deeply rooted in our physiological makeup. Even with the help of available media expert, why is it that few couples seem to have kept love alive?
How is it that you read some amazing ways to express love to your partner, you select 2 or 3 that seem especially helpful, try them and your partner doesn’t even notice your effort?
Ok, most of us grew up learning the language of our parents which became our primary tongue. We will agree that it will be difficult trying to communicate to your partner who is not from your tribe using your primary tongue. So for effective communication you must learn the language of your partner.
So having said that, in love it is similar, your emotional love language to your partner may be different as English is from Chinese. You will never understand how to love each other no matter how hard you try…
Psychologists have narrowed 5 ways people speak and understand love (emotional love). It’s call the love language.. We will be looking at the 5 love languages so you can effectively communicate with your partner.
1). WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.
It was king Solomon who said ” the tongue has the power of life and death”.(proverbs 81:21). Verbal compliments are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple straight forward statements such as
” you look sharp in that suit”.
“You look beautiful in that dress”.
“I love you”.
It was Williams James who said ” one of the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated”. For this set of persons negative or insulting comments cut deep and won’t be easily forgiven. Choose your words carefully.
2). QUALITY TIME
This is not just about spending time with your partner but giving them your undivided attention. Distractions, failure to listen, and postpone dates can be hurtful to these individuals. And I don’t also mean sitting on the couch and watching television or going to the cinema together… When you spend time that way, the screen has your attention -not your partner.
Examples will be taking a walk, going out to eat, looking at each other and talking… Devices put away.
3). RECEIVING GIFTS.
Love in itself indicates that at the heart of it is the spirit of giving. But for some, receiving gifts speaks the loudest. It doesn’t matter whether it cost money, what is important is when they look at it and say “look he was thinking about me”. It doesn’t mean they are materialistic, it just makes them feel appreciated.
4). ACTS OF SERVICE.
Action they say speak louder than words. Lending a helping hand shows you really care. People speaking this language can’t handle broken promises or perceived laziness.
5). PHYSICAL TOUCH.
Holding hands, kissing and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating love. Touching your spouse as you walk through the room, a brief kiss or hug will speak volume to your partner.
Once you identify and learn to speak your partners love language, I believe you will have discovered the key to a long lasting relationship.
Love need not evaporate after the first couple of weeks of having butterfly in your stomach. Most of us have to put forth effort to learn our partners language… And please remember, there are tremendous benefits of meeting the emotional needs of your partners.
Funbunwhe Dfk is passionate about seeing couples thrive and enjoy their relationship.
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